


Musings of A Broken Soul.

by SheWasACemeteryStargazer



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Abigail Hobbs - Freeform, Angst, Character Death In Dream, Death, Drabble, Dream Sequence, Multi, Scars, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:04:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWasACemeteryStargazer/pseuds/SheWasACemeteryStargazer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short oneshot I threw together a while ago, involving two of my favorite Hannibal ships- Hannigram and Willton. Enjoy the angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Musings of A Broken Soul.

It was a breathtaking winter's evening when you returned to me, painting the frigid air with silver smoke as you exhaled deeply into the cold, dark night. I could recall our last moments with great clarity, and still I felt no fear as you drew near. You were here for a reason, one that we both understood perhaps too well.  
Unfinished business.  
An unwritten ending.  
A poem that was meant to continue on, its alliteration flawed and twisted and in need of correcting.  
Only we could rewrite our story, Hannibal; only we could heal its blood-soaked pages and broken spine.  
"You came back."  
"I never left you, Will."  
Your piercing gaze seemed to hold a dozen emotions at once, feelings of longing, regret, kindness and love, all reflected towards me. I never quite believed you were capable of loving me, or really anyone, but in peaceful, pure and still moments such as this, you almost managed to convince me otherwise.  
I drank in a breath of cold air and raised my voice.  
"What you did to me, Hannibal...what you did to us...I nearly died. Abigail, she...."  
And then the peaceful, pure stillness was drowned in misery as I recalled her lifeless, blood-drenched form, pulled from my arms, taken by the paramedics who had come far too late.  
"...She didn't have the strength she needed to continue on in our world...she understood that, and she was wanting and willing to leave. She was a mercy killing."  
You murmured the words softly, sadly, as though speaking of a fallen daughter, or a beloved pet put to sleep. Your cold fingers brushed softly against my cheek; I trembled.  
"She wanted to see you one last time...she died with you, Will. She felt safe and loved when she passed."  
"She was afraid," I hissed weakly, though I found myself unable to draw away from your icy touch. "She was afraid, Hannibal, and so was I."  
The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them. I watched your face, watched the shifting of emotions like the fluid changing of masks, and I wished more than anything that I could swallow up what horrid truth I had spoken.  
"You were afraid because I harmed you?" you murmured, your thumb slowly tracing over my lips, your gaze now questioning and intense. I shakily drew in a breath, my pulse racing as you continued to refamiliarize yourself with my features.  
"I was afraid because you left me."  
The confession was reluctant but honest, perhaps the most truthful words I had ever uttered in your presence.  
You shifted closer, your other hand drifting down to my waist and gently guiding me nearer.  
"I had to leave," you began to explain, your tone patient and soothing as though you were reasoning with a small child. "Had I stayed, they would have killed me...had I stayed, you would have lost me forever."  
You spoke to me as though you were a father I had never known, but your touch was that of a lover's. It was strange. It was frightening. It was lovely. Perhaps you were manipulating me again. Perhaps you were preying on me again. I could never fully understand your motives, but in that moment, I understood what I wanted...to remain in your embrace, enveloped in your warmth, shielded from the cold and starlessness of the bittersweet night.  
"...There is beauty in destruction, Will. To watch a tender rosebud grow and blossom, to raise it and nourish it, then watch as it withers away...haven't you realized that yet?" you asked me, your forehead now resting against mine as you held my gaze; I couldn't find the willpower to look away.  
"...We created something beautiful...but it's time to destroy it."  
As you held me in that calm, dark field, it was as though we were standing in your kitchen again. There was so much love in your words and touch, but I knew the sadness that hid in your voice.  
The knife was only a faint stinging as you plunged it into my stomach. You had returned not to bring me with you, but for one final farewell.  
"I'm sorry, Will."  
Crimson spilled out over your shoes, drenched the both of us. It was as though I was simply watching, understanding, playing the role that I had dedicated myself to- your victim and dearest friend.  
"I forgive you, Hannibal."  
You held me until the end this time, placing soft, loving kisses upon my pallid skin and sweat-sleeked hair. I could feel the warmth of life leaving me, the familiar darkness of unconsciousness dawning upon me like an old friend, but this time, as I faded away in your loving embrace, things were different.  
I wasn't afraid.

*****

"Will, wake up...."  
Gentle hands shook me awake, and I admit that I half-expected to see you there, but instead found someone else at my side.  
"You were dreaming about Hannibal again, weren't you? Your hands always move to your stomach when he's on your mind...."  
I sighed quietly, ashamed to be so transparent...Frederick always had a way of seeing through me.  
"...He's the one that got away...he scarred us both, Frederick, and he got away without even a scratch...."  
Frederick gently tangled his fingers into the brown curls of my hair, the gesture comforting and kind; though our past had been bitter, you brought us together, Hannibal. Your betrayal of us both led us to this strange, gentle peace.  
"...He'll come back for you some day...." Frederick murmured softly, curling up at my side. "To take you to be with him or to kill you, we can't be sure...but you intrigue him."  
"He left me to die," I argued hoarsely, "he's through with me." But Frederick silenced me with a gentle kiss upon my collarbone.  
"Rest, Will...you're safe with me tonight."  
They were only words, but I believed them. They were all I could believe in. At the end of our tale, you were a ghost, Hannibal, but Frederick was a man- flesh, blood and a beating heart resting beside me. You would always haunt me, he would always guard me. You slept with knives under your pillow, and now my lover and I sleep with guns. You wrote our story, Hannibal, from the beginning through to its tragic end, but should you choose to pick up your pen when a new evening dawns, I'll be waiting in the fields for you under a starless winter sky, as I still believe it was meant to be.


End file.
